What is supposed to be one of the greatest nights of my high school life, has casually turned into one of the most stressful, painful, and by far worst night of my life.
Prom
And I will be braving this fair night by myself. Alone. Like the loser I am.
So the beginning of this painful saga all began that fateful day, when the prom theme was announced: Music of the Night (Aka phantom of the opera). Since I skipped junior prom last year I figured, "Hey why not go this year? It's your last year, and you'll never be able to go again." Made sense at the time.
Not wanting to spend $500 on a dress I'd only wear for 5 hours, I borrowed my math teacher's daughter's dress. It's gorgeous.
Not wanting to spend an additional $100 on shoes, I opted out to wear a pair of grey converse.
So far, all prom was going to cost me was $50 for the ticket, and an additional $70 for my date's ticket. I was happy.
Then I had to go on an epic quest to find a prom date. First guy, sort of shrugged and I crossed him off the list. Second guy, "I have finals". Third guy, "I'll get back to you." Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth, "Prom tickets are how much?"
This whole debacle went on for about 2 months, and I was frankly, desperate and basically resigned myself to never finding a date.
Then this 17yr old kid crashed his car outside our house, and I figured, "Hey, what the heck?"
That's right, after this kid crashed his car outside, he got rushed to the hospital, but Yay! Nothing was wrong. Then his family came over like a week later for a "Thank you for calling 911 and sitting with my son until they came" reunion. They were so cute, they came up to me and were like "Thank you so much." And I'm like, "Anytime, but all I did was sit in my room and cry and call 911." I only went outside after I saw signs of life and minimal blood.
What can I say? I panicked.
Well the last date who was supposed to go with me canceled and I was out of options... and then I remembered said kid.
So I asked him... and he said yes!
Finally a nice date, for a nice night.
You see, I have a tendency for being spontaneous and impulsive. This tendency upsets my parents.
They don't like it.
They worry for me.
They don't understand it's just who I am.
They'll probably never get it.
It upsets me when they don't get it.
It upsets them when I don't get why they don't get it.
Why does everything have to be escalated?
It's really not that big of a deal when you look at it!
We're dysfunctional, (even past the sadness and frustration and genuine anger pouring from my fingertips right now through the keyboard, I still love them. I just don't like them right now.)
So I told the school that after all my hard searching, yes I would finally not be the odd one out and have a date. For the one night in my life, it seemed like life was finally giving me a break.
I told my mom and dad I was going to pay for this kid's ticket as well as my own.
They flipped shit.
"Money doesn't grow on trees."
"Other girls are going alone, why can't you?"
"You have to save for your trip to China."
"You're too impulsive."
"Impulsive is dangerous."
"I've talked it over with your father, we've agreed that you can't bring a date to prom because your impulsiveness is dangerous and because you were so impulsive there needs to be consequences to your actions."
but... this is my senior prom. MY SENIOR PROM. You know, in the long run, this probably isn't going to matter whether or not I had a date to prom, but honestly, I really wanted to go with one... I wanted to have someone to dance with, and get prom pictures with, and laugh with, and go bowling with later, and sit with at dinner.
"No Rebecca, this discussion is closed, our decision is final."
Was the discussion ever open? (Answer: no)
They then proceeded to go outside and tinker around with that stupid chicken hut of ours, while I sat inside the house throwing a temper tantrum only a mature 17yr old girl knows how to throw. I cried. I sobbed. I slammed my fist on the floor and screamed, "Why? Why don't you get it? Why don't you care? NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Then I calmed down and told them, "Fine, I'm not going to prom at all."
Then my mom got all pissed off and was like, "There you go, being impulsive again. Being impulsive will get you nowhere in life. You know Rebecca, you're a real idiot. You're gonna look back on this and regret it for the rest of your life. You're a real idiot. (Insert the story about someone she knows who was just like me, a real hard head, and ended up a drug addict in the middle of nowhere Texas, refusing help from his family, because he's a hard head...like me.)
If I don't go to prom and stop being impulsive I'm going to be a drug addict...apparently.
Well I talked to my now ex-date's mom and told her that well, No sorry your child cannot come to prom with me because I'm impulsive. She talked me into going. She's an angel.
My mom also texted me to "Get over yourself XOXO".
Thanks mom.
So now I'm going alone...
Thank you world.
Maybe I'll bring my stuffed fox and dance all the slow dances twirling around all the couples singing "All you need is love, but I wouldn't know cause I haven't found any yet."
What really pisses me off tho is that this is my one night of high school that's supposed to be off the charts fantastic, and all it's doing right now is stressing me out. I'm pissed. Super uber doober pissed. And that's why I'm blogging about it, because writing helps me to de-stress and relax. So far, not working. I still want to punch something.
When my sister went to prom... yes this is going to turn into BUT IT'S NOT FAIR BECAUSE SHE- rant... anyway when my sister went my parents paid for her ticket, her dress, and paid her fare for the limo. Overall way over the $200 mark if I do say so myself. My prom on the other hand was going to cost exactly $120 for both my ticket and my date's. That's it. I wasn't spending money on a dress, I wasn't buying shoes, I'm not going anywhere to get my hair, nails, or makeup done (#diy), and I'm sure as hell not getting a limo. And I was going to pay for that with my own money.
But no. Because I'm impulsive I have to go alone.
They were like, Fine, we'll pay for your ticket, but no you can't bring the date, and no you can't pay for him with your own money. You're not bringing him period. You're going alone.
I hate being alone.
It sucks.
Then to add the frosting to this wonderful cake I've been baked I was told, "Be grateful.", when they saw the anger and utter disappointment flash across my face and sit there like a wet mop.
YES LET ME BE GRATEFUL.
My bad.
It's hard to be grateful when you're pissed. It really is.
I know I'm going to look back on this night and realize that my parents really do love me and aren't trying to make my life a living hell. And it's my fault that life treats me the way it does, and this is merely a character building memory that can only make me stronger. My parents are merely doing what they think is best, and aren't torturing me for the hell of it. They just love me and think that destroying my senior prom is the best way to make me see that.
In a way they are right, my being impulsive can be bad, but I consider it my best quality.
Time is precious, I don't want to waste it trying to find the safest, most secure, most fail-safe answer to every problem. I don't want to waste it trying to solve every problem like I'm friggin Albert Einstein. I want quick results. I don't have time to sit down and think things through till the frickin sun burns out.
But don't get me wrong, I totally dig my parents. They're actually pretty chill people. Most of the time. You've read my other posts, they're good people. They're just slightly controlling and highly paranoid that the world is just one gigantic cess pool of danger and corruption that's just waiting to pounce on their hard-headed, spontaneous, impulsive, asian daughter.
I thought this post would make me feel better. But I'm still pissed. It's gonna take a few to feel better.
Favorite Quote:
Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
- Terry Pratchett
Life’s a garden… dig it.
- Joe Dirt
